well, for starters, i really wish i hadn’t run into the couch last year. my toes looked really gross sideways and it really wasn’t worth the time i spent in the emergency room.
next, i really regret how much orange chicken i ate at eric’s that one summer. now i can’t even look at it without wanting to throw up.
i also really think that if i would’ve just gone home 2 weeks ago in stead of driving to u of i, i would still have a car. that would be fantastic. but i guess the drunken weekend i spent with my sister was worth it.
i REAALLLYYY wish i hadn’t watched The Men Who Stare At Goats. biggest waste of 9 dollars and 2 hours i’ve ever spent.
i guess one thing i legitimately regret is that i never tried to put any effort forth in my education until my senior year of high school. i could have done so much better, but i guess i’m in college and i’m trying to fix it now.
lastly, it would be fantastic if i could get those black flats back that i left at a party. i really miss those.
1.) make me laugh. the absolute best thing you can ever do to cement yourself in my life is to make me laugh.
2.) if anyone ever played the song wild horses for me, i would propose on the spot. i’ve always said i never want to get married, but i think i would make an exception. i’m talking like i want you to be playing an acoustic guitar, serenading me with your voice, and it has to be good.
3.) offer me anything with whiskey in it.
4.) movie marathons and pizza.
5.) i have an incredibly large spot in my heart for anyone who reads bukowski, palahniuk, foer, and the list goes on.
6.) a really fantastic speech.
7.) every once in a while, i’ll meet someone that smells so ridiculously fantastic that i’m instantly infatuated. it’s really weird and small and all of that, but i can’t help it. people really overlook the power of smelling good.
eins: i’m learning to speak german and i love it. i wish my grandfather was alive today so i could talk to him like his family used to.
zwei: i frequently do laundry in the middle of the night.
drei: i don’t really believe that marriage lasts anymore and i never plan on settling down with someone. i think it’s an outdated concept.
vier: i have an extremely hard time sitting completely still. even if i’m sitting or laying down, i’m probably bouncing one or both of my feet.
funf: i get outraged when people send me forwards in text messages. it’s a ridiculous amount of anger that is produced. i’m talking like, i want to get out a baseball bat and just go to town on them. it’s something i really need to work on.
sechs: i will drop anything and everything for my sisters, but they’re the only people that have that power. i’m talking like, if you ask me to do something and my sisters ask me to do something else, i’ll bail on you. other than that, i’m one of the most reliable friends in the world. also, rarely do my sisters and friends have plans that clash.
sieben: i rarely stress about things. my constant attitude is that it will work out or it’s probably fine. it really pisses some people off.
acht: i watch more icarly than anyone ever should.
neun: as much as i’m usually not worried about things, i’m impatient most of the time and i’m stubborn as hell. =)
one: you used to be so quiet and we didn’t get along. now you’re coming into your own personality and i love it. you’re weird as hell and it cracks me up. i’m so glad that we’re so close now. i can’t even remember what it used to be like when we didn’t hang out constantly. i miss you more than you can even imagine.
two: you’re such an asshole and it’s so fantastic. sometimes i hate you because you cross so many lines, but most of the time i love you. you’re my best friend and i honestly think this is one of those friendships that will last until we die. i can’t wait to be the best man in your wedding and treat your kids like they’re mine. let’s get sushi soon. hah. bff…b.
three: you need to pull your shit together. you’re such a mess that it’s almost revolting. at 24 years old, you should be able to hold a stable job. you shouldn’t be walking out of work and scrounging for money to pay your rent. damn, kid. it’s embarrassing.
four: you have done so much for me. i know i don’t always show how much i appreciate everything, but i do. i wouldn’t have gotten as far as i have without you. you are so incredible. we fight sometimes, but i love you so much.
five: you are my sunshine, and i’m so glad i met you. i’ve barely known you for a month and i’m so upset that i haven’t had my whole life to be friends with you. the next four years are going to be bitchin’.
six: you crack my shit up. you are one of the few people that can get me to literally roll on the floor laughing. “FUCK BITCHES, GET MONEY.” this bitch is amazing.
seven: you’re weird as fuck and i’ll never be able to replace you as a friend. you’re so good to me. you’re one of the few people in the world that i can call at 4 in the morning, know you’ll be awake, and know you would come get me from whatever house i’m drunk and lost at. thank you.
eight: hate you. I FUCKING HATE YOU. i’d rather pull my fingernails off one by one than spend time with you. fuck off.
nine: i’ve been so attracted to you for the past year. we’ve probably said 4 words to each other. i don’t see anything ever coming of it. i’m just going to continue to creep on you every time i visit matt at work. hah.. awesome.
i have this old photograph i’ve been using as a bookmark. it’s my favorite picture of us. you and mikey look so small. you look so innocent still. mikey is goofing around like he always used to. we look happy. we were probably dirty and hungry, and our clothes were too big but we look content. you would never know that in the decade that followed, you would be drug addicted and broke. you can’t tell that you would father a son who would die before he could even lift his own head. you can’t tell that you’ll be sent to prison on assault charges. you wouldn’t guess that soon after this picture was taken, mikey’s mom would send him to tennessee to live with his dad because she couldn’t take it anymore. you can’t see ahead to know she would get drunk and set herself on fire. you can’t tell that he would get jumped for no reason other than the fact that he used to always have that grin on. you don’t know that mikey is mike now and he’s cold.
i miss the both of you. more than you could ever imagine. it will never go back to how it used to be. i miss you big brother.